Fundamentalists and Left-Wingers: Seperated at Birth?

This is just an amusing and probably meaningless observation (probably, I say, but you never know, so pay attention):

There are always two kids of people in the world. Take any social see-saw and you'll find it's true: one is either an Elvis person or a Beatles person; a math person or a grammar person; a chocolate person or a fruit person; a Napoleon Dynamite person or ... well, just NOT a Napoleon Dynamite person.

One of the most polarizing social see-saws is the political/religious one. On one extreme end of this see-saw you have the ultra-conservative fundamentalist Bible-thumpers. These are the people who see Black Helicopters and the Illuminati behind most world events. They hoard batteries, guns and water for the imminent apocalypse. They home school, not because they believe they are better teachers than those in the public schools, but because they believe all teachers in the public school system are athiest/communist members of a leftist cabal bent on converting all children into anti-God homosexual PETA-members. On the other extreme end of the political/religious see-saw are the radical leftist ultra-spiritual mother-earthers. These people are the ones who believe religious dogma is a disease far deadlier than AIDs (which they secretly view as a badge of honor). On the other hand, they like crystals, and Wicca, and meditating to become one with the spiritual/universal plane. They eat organic vegan and consider meat-eaters murderers. They believe America is the most ultimately and irredeemably evil entity in the universe and indirectly root for terrorists to blow us all to smithereens. They would gladly die for the cause of A) someone's right to kill a fetus, or B) preserving the existence of a single spotted owl.

The interesting, amusing thing about people on both extremes of this spectrum, as my wife has recently noticed during a trip to a local health food store, is this: ultra-right-wing-fundies and ultra-left-wing-earthers, upon purely superficial inspection, look exactly the same! Take away the words on the bumper-stickers and T-shirts, and there is virtually no way to tell them apart, despite their drastically polarized belief systems!

Examples: both tend to be into health food, vitamins and natural remedies. That's why we first noticed this while in a natural food store: it is one of the few places where both factions of the political/religious see-saw intermingle with no apparent animosity. Fundies and Earthers both love the idea of healing through Royal Jelly and homeopathy. They both love all-natural organic foods and abhor irradiation and 16 letter words in ingredient lists. Positive-thinking and shark's cartilage and bee-sting therapy and the spiritual/psychic power of magnets; these are all favorites of both factions, strangely enough.

But it doesn't stop there.

Both sides look and dress similarly in many ways. Fundies and Earthers both tend toward an austere, plain form of dress. The women tend not to wear much make-up and to have rather cavalier attitudes towards shaving certain body-areas. The men like sandals and goatees and glasses. Both factions wear angry and provocative slogans about their core beliefs (and both factions have loads of core beliefs) on their persons in the form of t-shirts, buttons, patches, jewelry and caps. Both factions tend to have the same expression built into their faces: I dare you to disagree with me, the expression says, I'm pissed off about the state of the planet and the country and the way you're dressed and the things you're eating, so please PLEASE disagree with me so I can vent some rage on you with a self-righteous and endless diatribe.

Both factions are serious. Both have little or no sense of humor, except when it comes to sarcastic and vicious statements about those that disagree with them. Both are essentially unhappy. Both could have their worldviews summed up with the bumper sticker slogan, "If you aren't angry, you aren't paying attention".

Both the Fundies and the Earthers utterly hate anyone who disagrees with them. They both believe the other is Evil and Deadly. Neither are thinkers. They defend and attack their positions unquestioningly and instantly, as a purely reflexive action. They are, in short, miles beyond self-examination and introspection. Screeching about persecutions and offenses is their equivalent of sticking their fingers in their ears and yelling "Blah blah blah!" to block out any reasonable argument. Neither the Fundies nor the Earthers can bear to hear even the most calm dissent. And both, in their own way, believe God is irrevocably on their side.

Isn't it funny? In a more-or-less non-ha-ha funny kinda way? Despite what they may think, the Earthers and the Fundies are far more similar than they'd ever admit or imagine. They'd probably be best buddies if it weren't for the fact that they have to hate each other.

I am a Christian, and grew up around Christians. Many of them were and are, I am reluctant to admit, Fundies. Not quite the bomb-throwers some Fundies are, but some of them come close. They wear argumentative Christian T-shirts and caps and listens exclusively to Praise Music. They thinks abortion clinics that get bombed deserve it, although they wouldn't go plant any bombs themselves (in that respect they are a lot like the non-killing Muslims in my previous blog). Most of them are absolutely and unassailably positive of their convictions, although they detest and abhor any discussion that might cast any doubt on those convictions. They proclaim the house of their beliefs solid and able to withstand the onslaught of the most ferocious storm, as long as you don't actually approach that house, or touch it, or even look at it too closely, and certainly as long as no actual wind or rain is allowed to fall on it.

Whenever I visit my funadmentalist friends, I find myself praying a prayer like this: Oh God, protect me from absolute certainty. Protect me from never being able to listen to a reasonable argument, and considering it's veracity, even if it defies my deepest beliefs. Help me to always be ready to engage my brain before I engage my mouth. Help me to avoid the lure of self-righteous condemnation of those who disagree with me.

I don't want to be a moderate, necessarily. I don't want to be wishy-washy. I do have strong beliefs. I just want to be able to defend them with love and respect for those who disagree with them. I want to always know why I believe them- not just that I do- and to be able to explain those beliefs (and this is the important part) in a way that people can hear, not just in a way that makes angry noise.

I guess that must be what the Bible means when it says one can speak with the voice of angels, but if you don't speak with love, you're just flappin' your gums, making a ruckus, essentially annoying everybody.

At any rate, that's a bit off topic- just a little personal rabbit trail.

I just thought it was interesting that, when you remove the actual words, both sides of the political/religious see-saw look and sound almost exactly the same. They're like brothers in a civil war. By definition, they share the same earthiness and graveness, the same plainness and angry slogans and spittle-flying diatribes, the same utter intolerance of those who disagree. I guess this is a good thing for the rest of us. Makes them easy to recognize and avoid.

God save us from absolute certainty, and those who espouse it. They deserve each other.